about us this week events images music video spirituality action words prayer labyrinth links shop downloads blog webcasts location contacts	This is an Ignatian-style meditation based on Genesis 32:22-30. Before the meditation it is helpful to give a very quick summary of Jacob's life up to that point, particularly explaining why he was afraid of his brother Esau and to read the Genesis 32 bible passge. ------------------------ Imagine you are standing in the desert. The sun is sinking, and the sky has taken on a golden glow. You have friends nearby, all your posessions, and the people you care about. Who are those people? The people YOU care about. name some of those people now [pause for reflection] Yet you are afraid. You are soon to meet someone you didn't get on with in the past. Someone you find stressful, or difficult to talk to, even though are now trying to make an effort to get on with them. (name anyone that comes to mind, without feeling guilty about it) [pause] Pray for that person now, ask God to bless them and to show you how to communicate better.[pause] For some reason, you feel the need to be alone, to think. To plan the way ahead. There is a river in front of you, but no bridge, but the river is shallow enough to wade across. You send everyone you know, and everything you posess across that river, and you wait on this side. You watch your possessions go across the river. What things do you see being carried? [pause] What things do you want to thank God for? [pause] What things do you wish you didn't have? What things are missing that you need? .... [pause] You're not sure what you are waiting for. But there is an atmosphere of expectation. Night falls. A dark night with a small sliver of a moon. You can see faint lights on the other side of the river where your family is camped. But otherwise everything is black, apart from the shining stars far far overhead. You sit in the shadowy darkness, and tell God your worries. Your plans for the future. Decisions you have to make.....[pause] Then a grey figure appears in the darkness. You cannot see his face, or even make out his body shape properly. He grabs you by the arm, and begins to wrestle with you. You wrestle back. The figure is strong. Yet not too strong for you. The figure makes you think about the struggles you are having at the moment. As you fight, you feel like you are fighting against those things. Wrestling with them. Name those things now. Tell God those things. The doubts, the worries, the illnesses, the pain, the heartache, the things you don't even want to admit are there. The things that make you want to push and kick and shove the shadowy figure in front of you and stamp on his toes.....[long pause] The figure hits you on the hip, and your hip is wrenched. Argggh! Yet you will not let go of the struggle. You will not give up. You have grabbed one of his arms. But the other figure is no longer fighting back. He speaks with a surprisingly gentle voice, for a person so strong. "let me go, for it is daybreak". You realise that you have been fighting all night, forever it seems .There is a slivver of light in the East, and if you keep on holding on, you will see who this figure is at last. You will have some answers, to the "why?" questions that are burning in your head....[short pause] You reply " I will not let you go unless you bless me" somehow you know that this being is from God. That this person can bless. Can make life better, can help. You want that help! You ask for that help now for a particular situation. [pause] The man speaks "What is your name?" You tell the figure your name, the name you call youself inside your head....... [pause] Then the man replies. He tells you that you will have a new name. Because you have struggled with God and overcome. What does he call you?........[pause] You then ask the stranger his name, knowing that he will leave before the sun rises and you get to see him. But he simply replies with a question "Why do you ask my name?" You let go. How does it feel to finally let go? .... [pause]You slump on the ground. Then the stranger raises his hand to bless you. And in the dim light of pre-dawn you see his shadowy hand sketch a cross shape in the sky over your head And as the figure disappears to you say to yourself " I have seen God, face to face, and lived."
This page last updated: 22-Mar-2005 visions@visions-york.org